l.o.v.e. spells trouble (and a horse)

chapter seven

By the next day things were relatively normal once again...
“Hey guys, guess what!” Zac exclaimed.
“What?” mumbled Tay grumpily.
“What is wrong with you, man?” queried Ike, who had just entered the room wearing a pink dress and red heels.
Tay looked up and raised his eyebrows “Ike, that really suits you, although I really think mauve is more your colour.”
“Anyway, as I was saying,” continued Zac. “We’ve--”
“ZACHARY WALKER HANSON!! YOU GET DOWNSTAIRS THIS INSTANT!!”
“Oh, and by the way Mom wanted you to do the dishes,” remembered Tay. Diana had decided to be noble and have her family help out Bel’s with the housework, since there were now nine extra people in the house.
“What?!!! Who do you think I am, a mind-reader? Tay, I’m dead and it’s all your fault!”
“Sorry, I forgot.” Tay flashed him a sweet and innocent smile.
Zac smiled; he was going to the counsellor that afternoon. He was convinced you weren’t supposed to have feelings for your siblings, at least not these sort anyway. Damn family, always so lovey-dovey, so close. They’ve distorted your mind!! Zac ran downstairs unknowing of what awaited him.
“Zac, why didn’t you do the dishes?” asked Diana.
“What dishes?” Zac asked sweetly. This would work so much better if only he had an amazingly beautiful smile like Tay’s... Oh s***!!!
Diana pointed to the sink. It was piled at least 2 metres high with plates, bowls and cups.
“Oh.” Zac looked at his feet.
“Why didn’t you do it when Tay told you?”
“He only told me when you told me to come downstairs.”
“JORDAN TAYLOR HANSON!!! GET DOWNSTAIRS... NOW!!!!”
“Thanks a lot Zac, you can’t keep your bloody mouth shut!” Tay mumbled under his breath as he proceeded to walk downstairs.

After a lot of yelling and arguing both Taylor and Zac were let off the hook with a stern warning.
“Anyway, as I was saying before we were interrupted,” said Zac. “Some Australian producer wants us to star in a movie. Apparently there are a whole lot of international stars going to be in it.”
“Cool, that’s really kinky! What are our parts?” asked Isaac excitedly.
“Well... I’m Agnementine, Tay’s Joshua and you’re... the horse!!” Zac burst out laughing.
“No, we’re not doing it. I’m the oldest, so I choose.”
“Sorry, Ike. Do you remember the contract we signed before we came to Australia?”
“Yeah?”
“Well that was for this. It’s official.”
“Bloody hell, how am I supposed to play a horse?”
“Shouldn’t be too much trouble!” said Zac and the giggles started all over again.
Isaac grabbed the script to make sure Zac wasn’t joking. Next to Zac’s name it said, “Agnementine, Christabelle’s mother”.
“Hahaha!” Ike yelled evilly. “Zac, did you notice that you play someone’s mother?!!”
Zac simply stared at Isaac in disbelief, and ran from the room. Isaac put the script down and went off to play with the toaster. After Ike had left, Tay decided to read the script...

l.o.v.e. spells trouble

Well, thought Tay. That was a bit of an anticlimax. The plot for the movie seemed so boring, in fact, that it sent Tay to sleep. A thin trail of drool ran from the corner of his mouth as he dreamt of Susan.

That afternoon...
“Do you want me to come in to the psychoanalyst’s office with you, boy?” asked Walker of Zac.
Zac cringed. Did his father HAVE to call him “boy”? It was so... Ugh! “No, thanks, Dad. I’d rather if you waited out here.”
“I suppose you want ‘one on one’, hey, little fellow?” Walker grinned at him. “Your old dad understands you, little fellow!”
Zac groaned mentally. “Little fellow” was even worse than “boy”. Walker had been rather unbearable ever since he’d taken that “Good Parenting” course. So damn “understanding”! Zac remembered where he was and groaned out loud. He’d rather listen to his father than think about his “little problem”.
Zac inched towards the psychoanalyst’s office and carefully opened the door. Sitting at a large brown desk was a rather attractive-looking woman in her early twenties. Zac smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad...

“So, Zachary, you believe that you’re having incestuous thoughts about your fifteen-year-old brother?” said the woman calmly.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Zac affirmed. “He’s just so damn good-looking, charming, sexy...”
“And you feel you’re not?” asked the woman, crossing her legs and hitching her skirt up.
Zac stared. “Um... Not really. I don’t think I’m so bad, just that he’s so good! No, more than good; PERFECT!”
“So this is really more of a jealousy issue, then?” The psychoanalyst licked her lips.
Zac licked his lips. “Um... No...” He was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate. Why did he always have to find older women so attractive? Not as attractive as Tay, though. “He’s just really, really sexy.”
“I see...” The psychoanalyst was confused. She’d never had this problem before. Usually they’d forgotten all about their brothers by the time she crossed her legs. “Tell me more,” she urged.
“Well... I just all the time wish he was a girl and not my brother. It gets worse when we’re on tour or something, then Tay--”
“Tour?” interrupted the psychoanalyst. “Tay? Are you by any chance Zac HANSON?”
“Yeah, but--”
“OMIGOD!!! Your brother is TAYLOR HANSON!!! He’s sooooo cute! That’s perfectly normal, then. Of course you’re attracted to him. The whole world is. He’s SOOOO CUTE!!! Can I have your autograph?”
“Sure.” Zac half heartedly signed his name and left the room. He realised he probably should have been used to seeing grown women collapse on mention of his brother’s name, but he thought psychoanalysts would have been different. She had told him it was normal to be sexually attracted to his brother, but Zac wasn’t so sure. She hadn’t helped him at all.

“So how was it?” asked Walker eagerly. “Are you cured, boy?”
“Yeah.” Zac was too depressed to tell the truth.
“Well, that’s good. It was kind of a blight on the family, all that incestuous c***. Really un-natural. If I were you and I hadn’t been cured, I’d be very ashamed of myself now. It’s totally unacceptable, that nonsense.”
It was all too much. Zac burst into tears.
Walker didn’t know what to do. “It’s okay, little fellow. You’re cured now. You’ll never have to go through the hell-hole that is incest again. You don’t need to be ashamed any more.”
The journalist in the corner quietly took notes.

That night...
The Hansons and Belinda’s family were gathered around the TV just in time for the evening news.
“And in entertainment news, rumours of incest surround the youngest member of teen pop-sensations, Hanson. This is unconfirmed, but we have it from a reliable source that four pink elephants and a green monkey were also involved...”
“You and Jessie been sleeping together again, Zacky?” joked Taylor, who had no idea that any of the report was true. Zac had only told his parents about his feelings. Therefore, Taylor had no idea why Zac suddenly burst into tears and ran out of the room. “What did I do?” Tay asked. Walker and Diana didn’t have the heart to tell him. He just looked too darn sexy.

[ 8 ]