l.o.v.e. spells trouble (and a horse)

chapter twelve

Isaac, Taylor and Zac ran downstairs and jumped into Belinda’s father’s old car without asking. Isaac started up the engine and they chuffed off down the street. Belinda’s father smiled from the kitchen window. Hopefully Ike would crash the car. Then they’d kindly buy a new one and save him several thousand dollars. He continued loading up dirty dishes into the brand-new, state-of-the-art dish-washer.

“F***!” Taylor’s fairy godmother swore as she kicked the wheel of her Harley Davidson in frustration. The bike was clearly not going to start working again any time soon. The fairy godmother sighed, straightened her pink plastic wings, and started walking.

“F***!” Taylor swore as he and his two eldest brothers drove frantically around the outside of the shopping centre, looking for a parking space. It was already three minutes past eleven.
Finally they gave up and parked in the disabled parking space. I have a cut on my shin, Taylor reasoned. That’s disabled enough.
The brothers leapt out of the car and ran through a nearby park to the entrance of the shopping centre...

11:04 AM...
Taylor’s fairy godmother ran through the park towards the entrance of the shopping centre as fast as she could. Suddenly she found herself lying flat on the ground with her head in a nearby fountain. The fairy godmother sat up and looked around. She’d just tripped over a couple lying on the grass doing she didn’t want to know what.
“F***!” she exclaimed. “Can’t you people control yourselves in public?!” The couple sat up. The fairy godmother realised she knew the girl. “Oh, hi, Ali,” she said.
“Hi!” said Ali cheerfully. “This is my new boyfriend, Trav.”
“Hi Trav,” said the fairy godmother. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I was meant to be somewhere--” she checked her watch, “--five minutes ago.”
“What happened to your Harley?” asked Ali.
“Oh, it broke down,” the fairy godmother said.
“Typical,” said Ali. “See ya later.”
The fairy godmother waved and ran off down the hill. Ali and Trav resumed whatever it was they were doing...

11:06 AM...
“Get out of my way, girl!” cried Taylor. “I’m in a hurry!”
“Taylor,” said his fairy godmother. “It’s me.”
“Oh. Good. Let’s go get the shoes, then.”
“But, Tay,” whined Zac. “I wanna go play video games at the arcade. I’ve been saving my pocket money for months!” He upended his backpack onto the grass and poured out an enormous pile of spare change.
Taylor sighed. “Okay. You play video games, and the rest of us’ll go get the shoes.”
“No,” said Ike, hoping for some time alone with the fairy godmother. “Why don’t your fairy godmother and I stay here while you go? It’ll be quicker.”
“Oh, okay. See ya in a minute.” Taylor and Zac ran off into the mall.
Isaac sat down on a bench. The fairy godmother sat down too, as far away from Ike as she could get.
“So...” said Isaac. “D’you like toasters?”
“Just don’t talk to me, alright?” ordered the fairy godmother.
Ah, she’s shy, thought Ike. I’ll try and impress her. “I’m the Palaeolithic Yak Devil, y’know,” he said.
She said nothing.
“The ADVANCED Palaeolithic Yak Devil,” he insisted.
She sighed. “Isaac. I hate you, okay. Just be quiet.”
Isaac was quiet.
A few minutes later, the fairy godmother looked over at Isaac. She sighed. Tears were running down his cheeks. “Look, Ike,” she tried to comfort him. “I’m Taylor’s fairy godmother. That makes you and me practically related. We could never get married.” She prayed he’d accept the excuse.
“Okay.” He gave a huge sniff and the leaves fell off several nearby trees.
“Ike... Y’know what?” she said.
“What?” he asked warily.
“There’s an electrical goods shop over there...”
Isaac gave a huge grin and was up and running before she could wave her magic wand. He’d be happy gazing at all the toasters for hours.

Taylor came back with the shoes a few minutes later. “Where’s Ike?” he asked as he handed over his beloved cherry docs, now clean and shiny and smelling like soap.
“Oh, he’s off looking at toasters,” she said airily. “Hey, Tay, do you have a mobile phone?”
“Yeah, why?” he asked, pulling it out of his backpack.
“I need to call a taxi,” she said. “My Harley broke down and I’ll never make it to Cindy’s wedding in time if I have to walk.”
They called a taxi and went into McDonalds to wait. Taylor told his fairy godmother all about his love for Susan.
“She sounds like a really nice girl,” said the fairy godmother. “And you say she always looks neat and tidy?”
“Jeez,” said Tay. “Stop sounding so much like my mother.”
“Tay, I’m your fairy godMOTHER. I’m meant to sound like that.”
“But you’re younger than me!” he exclaimed.
“So!” she retaliated. “Gimme a break and have a little faith, for God’s sake. I didn’t choose this job; I wanted to work on a cruise ship!”
Just then, Zac walked into McDonalds, dragging his backpack along behind him. “Hi,” he said. “I won four hundred dollars.”
“Four hundred dollars...” gasped Taylor. “Wow.”
A taxi pulled up outside. “Oh, I’ve gotta go,” exclaimed the fairy godmother. “Can I borrow some money, Zac? I’ll pay you back.” Before he could answer, she ran off with the backpack.
“You’ll probably never see it again,” said Taylor cynically. They found Isaac and drove home with Ike’s purchases of twelve toasters and an electric potato peeler stacked in the boot of the car.

Late that night...
I’m thirsty, thought Taylor. He wandered into the kitchen and made a cup of weak tea. After a few sips, however, Tay remembered he didn’t even like tea.
“Why did I make it?” he asked himself. After five minutes of pondering, Taylor decided he wasn’t going to come up with a logical answer. He tipped the tea back into what he thought was the kettle and went back to his bag.

The next morning, Isaac was in the kitchen when he spotted the toaster. He walked over to say good morning, but as he got nearer, he gasped. The toaster was crying! It was full of liquid, with some running down the sides, just like real tears. Isaac realised why the toaster was so upset.
“My love!” he cried. “You’re jealous because of all the human girls I’ve been falling in love with lately. Never fear; I swear to you I’ll never love another again!”
All around the world, trees and houses were knocked over in the huge gust of wind as young girls breathed a huge sigh of relief.

[ 13 ]